I went to Lowe's the other day to get some light bulbs for my lava lamp. I figured I would see if I could produce a virgin Mary in it. I went to the self checkout aisle and received the receipt you see off to the left (click to embiggen). Now, mind you, this was for a one item purchase, with cash, of a two pack of appliance light bulbs that cost a total of about $3 bucks. Most of what is on that receipt is Lowe's marketing crap. Them trying to get any information out of you they can so you can get on mailing lists for them and all their buddies.

On top of that, they are now asking for phone numbers for any purchase. Cash, check, credit card, gift card, whatever. In fact, at the self checkouts, you're required to enter a phone number or you can't complete your purchase. I feel sorry, sort of, for the poor saps who actually give their phone numbers at registers like this. Then, 2 months later, when the retailer sells their phone lists, the saps are wondering why they're getting twenty telemarketing calls during dinner hour.

Lowe's isn't the only offender. I think my personal record is a Circuit City receipt that was two feet long for the purchase of one DVD. Maybe if they had cut down on the amount of receipt paper they were using, they wouldn't be going out of business. It certainly couldn't have hurt.

At Best Buy, I feel like I'm taking a mid-term exam when I go in to buy a game or DVD. Zip Code? Phone number? Are you a rewards member? Would you like a subscription to one of these fine magazines? Do you want to purchase our rip-off extended service plan for your $14.99 USB microphone? Turn your head. Cough.

Just take my money and let me the hell out of the store, for crying out loud.